Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Go Rays Go

I'm rooting for the Tampa Bay Rays to take it all! Before you think I'm nothing more than a johnny-come-lately bandwagoner, let me explain a few things. First, the Angels are still my favorite team. Second, I can, in fact, name a number of players on Tampa Bay. And third, I have 1,500 reasons to root for them.

Back in March, I made my annual March Madness trip to Reno. While there, I often times look at the futures for all of the sports to see if there's some fun longshot that would be worth rooting for. This year the Rays jumped out at me. I'm not going to lie and say I knew they would have the best record in the majors at the beginning of June. But when I saw the listing, they had the longest odds to win the World Series - substantially longer than Kansas City, Toronto, San Francisco, and plenty of other completely lousy teams.

And this is where my knowledge of their players came to my aid (if that's what it was). I drafted BJ Upton with the #1 pick in a keeper league (simulation baseball) back when he first appeared in 2004. I kept him in my league through 2005, when he spent the entire year in the Minors and had to waste a roster spot on him. So I've been following and rooting for him for a long time. I had heard great things about Evan Longoria, and of course, my Angels had been rumored to be pursuing Carl Crawford in a trade. On the pitching side, I saw Matt Garza pitch in New Britain, CT two years ago. In that year, he started the season in Single-A and proceeded to dominate all three levels of the minors and make the Majors by August. Dominant stuff. And of course, there's Troy Percival, the best closer in Angels history (K-Rod's good and all, but I hold my breath in the 9th inning a lot more often now than I did through most of the 1990s). I certainly thought Percy was done, but I was rooting for his comeback attempt.

So there I was in Reno, thinking "Energetic hitters, young starting rotation, veteren bullpen, solid defense (once Iwamura replaced Upton at 2B)." They reminded me a little of the Rockies from last year. And the Rockies made the World Series. So, after texting a number of friends with messages like "I think I'm freaking insane, I want to bet on the Devil Rays," I finally put $10 on them to win the World Series at 150/1 odds.

The two or three people that knew what I was doing kept laughing in April. Hey Wombat, your Rays won again. In May, one remarked they were watching ESPN and the analysts were all saying "Nobody saw this coming," and he thought "One person did." Now all I get are a lot of "How did you know?" and "I wish I had gone along with you."

Now, to be fair, I did NOT see this coming. I just thought they were better than they had been and I liked some of the players. But now that they have a 2 game lead in the AL East (and a 6 or so game lead in the Wild Card), all i can say is that I'm rooting for them. I think they're young and exciting, they built a solid team and play sound baseball. And I've got $1,500 riding on them. Go Rays!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Is this a solution?

Evidently last week was Teen Safety Driving Awareness Week (or something like that) in California. The reason I know this is because it was announced on the Amber Alert signs. Of course, the State's running out of money, but I'm sure running those things up and down the State doesn't cost any money. Originally I thought those signs were just for abducted children and, I don't know, maybe nuclear attack. Then they started to tell me to buckle up and not to drive drunk. Because evidently someone in a government organization somewhere really liked "LA Story" and thought we'd all listen to what the sign said.

But isn't the main problem with teen driving that they don't pay attention? So should bright messages on a sign really be a way to make teens more aware of safe driving? I wonder if it caused any crashes from teens. Because something caused those signs to go blank sometime around Wednesday night. Brilliance, indeed!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

It didn't take long

Tonight is a night I've been looking forward to for a while, because it is the start of the baseball season. Yes, I dragged my butt out of bed at 3:00 in the morning last Tuesday (I'm on Spring Break, thankfully), but this is when it counts because it's followed up by even more games the next day. And tonight seemed like it would be fun, because the Nationals are opening up a new ballpark. So I got all the stuff I needed to do out of the way early today so that I could come back and watch the game.

And then it all came back to me - uh oh, Sunday Night Baseball means Joe freaking Morgan! I think in the off-season, he withdraws into the recesses of my mind, but then, BAM, he's back! The reason I can't stand him is because he talks as if we're idiots. Honestly, John Madden thinks his observations are obvious. And it's sad, because if you listen to him on sports radio or any other interview (outside of ESPN), he is very insightful and erudite. But when you get him at an actual game, let's just say he takes the whole "get more kids following the game" too far and assumes that everyone in his listening audience is under the age of 10 and/or tuning in thinking "what is this game that is played on the grass and dirt?" My old roommate and I used to watch Sunday Night Baseball in Spanish on ESPN-Deportes to avoid him. Neither of us could speak Spanish, but it allowed us to hear the sounds of the game without the blood in our ears that were caused by the drivel emanating from Joe Morgan's mouth. But I don't think I have "The Ocho" anymore.

And I don't even think the game had started tonight before he did it again. The camera showed a quote from Joe DiMaggio in one of the dugouts. The quote: "There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first time. I owe him my best." Great quote. The camera showed it once, maybe on the way to or from commercial, because nobody said anything about it. Then they showed it again, and this time Jon Miller said it out loud. That's fine, some of us might be listening instead of watching. No biggie. And then, about a second and a half of silence (you know, maybe we want to reflect upon it), Joe freaking Morgan says "Always try your best... I think... is what he's trying to say."

Really, Sherlock?!? Thank God for your insight, because here I was thinking he was ordering a double scoop ice cream! Seriously, why is your talent being wasted on baseball? George Bush was at this game, so why not set Joe Morgan up with the CIA? The Allies that cracked the Enigma code are jealous at this kind of clarity at cracking what must be one of the most cryptic statements ever. Who needs the Rosetta Stone? Let's just send Joe Morgan over to Egypt to read the hieroglyphics.

Look, I'm used to Joe acting like we don't know about baseball and breaking everything down to simple and hyperbolic language. I was listening during a homerun derby in the late 90s when he said that the ballpark they were in was a ballpark that you really had to get the balls up in to hit a homerun (to which I think it was Chris Berman thankfully replied "Yes, you will see very few ground ball homeruns in this ballpark"). But, honestly, have his handlers told him that he now needs to start assuming we don't know the English language, too? Maybe next season he can describe to us how Greg Maddux ties his shoes...

PS Props to Nationals fans for not booing the President. At least not much. There was a smattering of boos, but the cheers drowned them out by a large margin. I mean, I know a lot of the people that were cheering don't like him (I mean, my God, it's Washington, which is, like, 99% democrat), and I was worried that a round of boos would ruin the beginning of the baseball season. Thankfully you all realized that there is a time and a place to let your dislike of him show, and the opening of the baseball season isn't it. Besides, y'all live there, so you can drive by the White House and flip him off anytime you like. Those of us in the rest of the country can only flip him off on the TV, which isn't nearly as fun. Of course, it's less likely to get our phone tapped, too, but that's a discussion for another time.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Speaking of the Super Bowl

Today is more or less the end of the 2007 Advertising season. Is there an Advertising season? Probably not, but many new ad campaigns will start today, so I'll take now to look back over my own personal "best and worst" ad campaigns in the last few months.

Many years ago, my good friend (Sancho, who really needs to get his own blog going) and I thought of a great idea for a business. We wanted to be ad consultants. Not ad producers, mind you. Mainly we thought that companies could pay us a bunch of money to show us the ideas that the real ad guys produced and we would tell them if what the average person would think of it. Or at least the average person with a brain.

I think this all started around when Carl's Jr. (Hardee's, if you live east of Colorado) were doing their "Without us, some guys would starve" ads. I never liked Carl's much before that, but I stopped going there during that ad campaign altogether, because I didn't feel like being insulted. I know they were trying to go for the "tough guy" image, but they were basically insulting their customers, saying "If you're too dumb to make toast, please visit us." Some people liked those ads, but I don't think any of those people could cook, and I think that's got to be a small portion of the population. Or our idea could have started during a loooooong list of really bad AM/PM ads. Regardless, our brilliant idea was to get paid lots of money to tell people their ads suck. I can't see why this didn't work. I should be a millionaire right now.

So I've always kind of been an advertising connoisseur, if there is such a thing, and a couple of ads have stuck out over the last few months. The first was Toyota's Toyotathon ads. The premise was that the deals were so good on new cars that people were going to amazing lengths to get out of their old leases. And it showed a bunch of people chopping down trees to fall on their car, rolling a rock off a cliff onto their cars, or pushing it off the top of a parking structure. I get where they were going - cars getting smashed is usually great entertainment. However, all they were really doing was showing a bunch of their customers committing insurance fraud. I mean, last time I checked, insurance companies tend to frown upon people intentionally wrecking their car because they're tired of it and want the money for a new one. I'm waiting for this ad campaign to be used by a defense attorney as proof that his client didn't know it was illegal.

On the other end of the spectrum is the ad campaign that has steadily grown on me. At first I thought it was silly, but the more I see it, I think it might be brilliant. I am speaking of the "Messin' with Sasquatch" ads from Jack Link's beef jerky. To quote Adam Sandler in an old SNL skit, "Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?" I think they wanted to call it "Fuckin' with Bigfoot," but ran into problems. If you haven't seen the ads, it's about some loser 20-somethings that find Bigfoot and decide to screw with him, with such all time classics as flaming poop in the bag, the buzzer handshake, and, my favorite, the_rolling_car_prank.
Oh, and Bigfoot always beats the crap out of one of them at the end.

Seriously, how high were the ad guys who wrote this? It was nothing to do with beef jerky, and that's what's great about it. I think there's got to be some ad people that come up with ideas like that and wait for somebody that has no idea what they want to come along. I mean, if these ads were for a cereal, they'd work just as well. Or a motor oil. Maybe not a feminine product, but just about anything else, right? And that's what makes it brilliant. I don't know if I've ever seen beef jerky ads before, but I'm guessing they wouldn't be very eventful because, really, what can you say about beef jerky? So you've got to go off the board and screw around with a mythical creature. Awesome. As I said, the first few times I saw this, I thought, what's the point? But now if it comes on, I will stop what I'm doing cause, dang it, I know I'll be laughing in about 28 seconds.

So there's the Annual Wombat awards for best and worst ad campaigns of late '07.

Pre Game Show

I just turned on the Super Bowl Pre-Game show about two and a half hours late. Well, not really late because this is actually earlier than I was intending but there's nothing on any other station right now. I was hoping maybe the Food Network would have some good tailgating food stuff, but no, it's about cakes. So I turned on the pre-game show.

At least I think I did. So far I've been watching for twenty minutes or so and as far as I can tell this is just an ad for American Idol. I mean, I know it's tough to talk about a football game that hasn't started yet for twice as long as said game will actually take, but it can't be that hard - ESPN's been doing it for two full weeks.

So far I've seen a commercial (a real one) for American Idol where Ben Roethlisberger pretends he's singing. Then I saw a new Paula Abdul "video." I put video in quotes because she was really just singing on a stage which looked suspiciously like the American Idol stage. And then what really annoyed me was that she started by singing the first line of "Forever Your Girl," which, being a child of the 1980s, I was fine with. Then she went into some new song, cause I guess she finally decided to cash in on her American Idol role, which ironically was orginally intended to cash in on her role as a washed up singer/dancer.

And, of course, then Randy Jackson had to act like he was judging her and then Ryan Seacrest asked if she would make it through to the next round.

Please revisit my former blog about a much better time for that NHL outdoors game....

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Why Gary Bettman is horrible

I used to love the NHL. In the mid and late 90s, I could tell you the front lines of most of the Western Conference and always knew who the leading scorers and best goaltenders were. I could even identify the bruisers for most of the teams. Now I occasionally look at the standings, only follow one team, and am very rarely aware of when it is on TV. and I know I'm not alone in that transition.

Most of this stems from a number of missteps by NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. After the 1994 finals between New York and Vancouver, the league was ready to take on the NBA as an equal for Winter sports. But instead, there was a half season lockout (followed by a full season lockout in '05). The league has also consistently failed to market its teams and stars. The fact that Sidney Crosby is not a household name is a tragedy.

And of course the latest was the outdoor game yesterday between Pittsburgh and Buffalo. Played in a snowstorm before 71,000 fans, it was a well played game. Great hits, awesome saves, a 1-1 tie, and the aforementioned Crosby with some amazing moves and the game winner in a shootout. This was one of the most exciting regular-season games I've seen.

So why am I pissed at Bettman? Because he took a great idea and ruined it. He scheduled the game at 1:00 eastern time on New Years Day! You could ask anyone in the country, even non sports fans, what sport is played on New Years Day, and about 95% would know its college football. That day is, and has always been, a day for College Football. There were three games on opposite the outside hockey game and those games featured the tiny colleges of Texas Tech, Virginia, Michigan, Florida, Tennessee, and Wisconsin. Sounds like about half the country geographically, and of course teams like Florida, Michigan, and Tennessee have fans (or haters) reaching far outside their geographical area. So I'm sure most people just left the games they were watching to catch a couple minutes of the hockey game, thought, "oh, that's kinda cool," then went back to the bowl games. That is assuming they even knew the game was on because the NHL advertising is almost non-existent.

Think of the days in the near future they could have played this game and dominated the headlines for the day - the week between the AFC/NFC Championship Games and the Super Bowl. Or even the morning of the Super Bowl. The NBA usually uses that morning to play some of their premier teams. Imagine how cool it would be to have a day showing the best that the NFL, NBA, and NHL have to offer.

This scheduling reminds me of the first time baseball was trying interleague play. Back then, Bud Selig was seriously trying to beat Gary Bettman for the worst commissioner of all time. Somehow Selig woke up around 2001 and decided maybe he should, I don't know, try to allow baseball to succeed, but that's a topic for another blog. Anyway, the first time MLB tried interleague play, they scheduled it the same week as the NBA Finals. That's a little more forgivable than the New years Day thing because the NBA Finals aren't on the same day every year. So is they had waited one more week, they would have dominated the headlines, but instead they had to share. The following year, they adjusted it later in the month of June.

So the question will be whether Gary Bettman will learn and move the outdoor game (you know they will continue with these, and they should as it is a good idea) to another date or keep it opposite huge college football games. Or a better option might be to fire him and let someone else move the game, but I've been rooting for that for 14 years, so I'm not going to hold my breath.

Best or Worst Advertisement Ever?

I haven't decided yet. i know that in the days of TiVo that advertisers need to work harder, but this borders on ridiculous. About a week ago I was driving to Southern California for Christmas and was listening to the Sunday Night Football game on ESPN Radio (I assume). The first score of that game was when the Redskins tackled a Vikings RB in the end zone for a safety. The announcers then busted out with something like "And with this safety, OnStar reminds you that the safety of your automobile and family are very important. Subscribe to OnStar to ensure their safety." They then went to an OnStar commercial.

Okay, the fact that will help me decide whether this is brilliant or moronic is the cost. I mean, safeties happen, oh I'd say, maybe ten times a year. Total. And I'm not 100% familiar with the radio contracts of the NFL, but I'm pretty sure that the only ones that are carried on a nationwide network are the primetime games. I think the typical Sunday morning/afternoon games are just carried by local stations that contract with only the local team. If that is the case, the number of safeties on nationally broadcast games is maybe two.

So, seriously, who ever thought "Hey, let's sponsor the safety!" I mean, I'm sure it's not going to cost that much since they probably only have to pay a set amount when the safety actually occurs. However, I'm sure that they had to pay some sort of base fee, however minimal, to ensure that they then could pay the sponsorship fee when the safety actually occurs. I can't imagine that ESPN Radio would sell that sponsorship without at least some assurance that they will get some money and, honestly, you can't assume at the beginning of the season that a safety will occur in a primetime game.

So I'm still unsure if this is brilliant or horrible. Maybe a bit of both.